After a day of cooking, eating and reading the Black Friday ads in the paper I contemplated running out the door to pick up a new thong at Victoria Secrets because nothing says go buy lingerie like a high carb, high fat, waddle out the door dinner. Did you hear the gun go off at midnight this year; "Ladies and Gentleman, grab those credit cards............ GO!
After hunting and gathering at the local Piggly Wiggly Wednesday morning, the DC traffic was a breeze! Approaching the checkout line I carefully speculate which of the cashiers had all cylinders firing and opposable thumbs; throw a dart and pray I pick the right the line.
About the time I get half my stuff on the belt, the check out people do a side out rotate and I get Mimi, the glazed over teenager who has been bounced off the pavement one too many times when she was a baby. (but Hey, she has a job so you go girl!)
Mimi, I am here to tell you; peeling black nail polish is NOT a fashion statement!! (or the white streak of hair down the middle of your scalp to accentuate you naturally luxurious jet black hair, think skunk, or the neck tattoo of your boyfriend) Yes, I am a vision in jeans, LL Bean hoodie and clay encrusted hiking boots, but I did comb my hair...... bonus points and that makes me a fashion-ista at the Piggly Wiggly. I notice Mimi is having trouble processing Ethel's fistful of coupons. Really, a file folder of coupons the day before Thanksgiving. Another reason to raise turkeys in the backyard........ there is never a back up at the feed and seed store and they never have BOGO on cow manure and I am going for Ethel in the parking lot.
While watching this play out my heart rate increases and I start my Lamaze breathing, just about the time I get myself under control, she flips that flashing light button. The entire line of shoppers lets out an audible gasp!
We are in check out hell with no way out! I watched my peas defrost on the belt and ice cream turn to soup.
and the holidays are just beginning............ going off to load gun.
Listening to CNN this morning I hear they had to pepper spray holiday shoppers, why isn't it cinnamon spray at the holidays? Also one shopper in a fit of "competitive shopping maced her other shoppers over a TV and fled the scene. There is an APB out for her. I only pray this happens in my booth someday. I don't think this has ever happened at one art festival I have participated in. So shoppers go support your local craftmen at the local venue. There won't be camel rides or Harry Potter movies playing at 3 a.m. but you will have a face to put a purchase with and know your dollar went to sustain a local artist and you probably won't be pepper sprayed.......
have a lovely holiday!