Monday, February 12, 2018

The joys of winter..........



We are now into deep February and cabin fever is taking hold.  I am in the grippers of cabin fever, some years seem better than others but this year has me on full on winter wedgie!  So much snow, ice and wind it's been a bit of a challenge walking, hiking or just taking the trash out.  10 minutes to bundle your nether regions and 10 minutes to unbundle those nether regions.  If you take the dog out 4 times a day that is 80 minutes or an hour and 20 minutes of protecting nether regions I never really give much thought to, until a brisk wind curls more than your nose hair!  Sheesh!  

I do live for the little glimpses into life that would otherwise breeze past while I was watching the grass grow and yelling at that pesky house wren to shut up.  The silence of winter is like no other time of the year.  The insulation of snow, the depth of the darkness, the intensity of the cold; even through the bundling there is nothing like it.  Spring, Summer and Fall, nature is pretty raucous!  Sirens from police and fire seem to float on the luminous silence.  The roaring Arctic Clippers barreling across Lake Erie like a freight train are all to frequent and yet in the interim it's amazingly placid and serene.  Standing under a twinkling starlight sky in subzero temperatures, staring at Orion's belt, one never hears the coyotes sneaking up behind you..... in the unflinching stillness of the night I feel the dog bump my leg and start whining.  "STOP IT!"; I whisper as I look down.... we both break the steely silence with a blood curdling scream "HOLY SHIT" and the coyotes run away while we trip over each other trying to get to a streetlight. Yup, time to go.......... everybody is hungry and we are not lunch! 

I watch Mr Madpotter pickup the last copy of Architectural Digest. Hoping he will see something inspiring to start a new project in our house, that needs a bit of an overhaul.   Slowly, painstakingly he turns each page as I study his face to see which mansion floats his boat as I make dinner across the counter and then, YES, here it comes........ "Did you know Ricky Martin was gay?"  News Flash? .......  Also overheard last week while talking to Daughter #1;  Wow, they made a movie on the Black Panthers, they were pretty revolutionary...... and I'm thinking I bet she's going to the movie.  He hangs up and says;  That was kind of a weird conversation.  Later in the day I email the movie trailer to his phone...... I see his brain explode in the car in the driveway.  These are things I totally miss in the summer.  

And I am thankful for driving in my bubble; windows rolled up tight so no one can hear my corrective suggestions for their driving habits during winter months!  I feel it is my job, my duty from the comfort and safety of my sound proof vehicle to point out the deficiencies of drivers around me; also a few pedestrians who are so bundled they don't realize they stepped off the curb.  Summer,  I manage to contain myself most of the time. 


Each year I completely forget how much static electricity is in the air.  Kirby is never far away, never. 




Watching the dog hair; jump, fly and migrate from yellow dog, across space to anything made of black micro-fleece.  I have taken to pinning dryer sheets to my knees, hips and middle.... winter fashion you won't see on Project Runway! 

AND sadly, I have time to watch our country erode into ........ well I don't even have words anymore.  Every time I think I have become comfortably numb I get a slap upside the head by BREAKING NEWS...  I mean really, how much breaking news can there be and while there is twid-iot in the White House creating chaos and division?  Shouldn't we all be coming together and figuring out how to get an oxygen tank to the planet that is gasping for breath. Or feed the 7,632,819,325 currently living on the planet?  And that national debt isn't going to amount to hill of beans unless we can actually do math and learn from science.  New storybook problem:  If guns magazine holds 500 bullets and box of bullets from Walmart contains 32 bullets how many immigrants do we need to deport to build a damn wall........ really people?  Excuse me for a moment, I need to go punch my wife in the face.  It's like watching the flash bang across the street while the termites ate your house.  But thankfully we have the Olympics ......... go USA Women's Hockey team!!  And who doesn't love a Dutch speed skater or an Austrian luger....... OMG just hold onto those nether regions! 

Deep winter and it's fermenting time!

Temperatures are supposed to rise midweek and I can't wait!  My pruners are sharpened and I'm ready to roll....... 
Hang in there winter dwellers........ 









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