It's the holiday season and what do we do here in Paine Falls........ we re-decorate like it's our job! I write about this every year and every year we slap ourselves upside the head with a gingerbread man. This years self inflicted agony was a new undertaking.
Last Saturday I sat at the kitchen table searching for signs of life in my comatose brain, letting the aroma of hot cup of coffee jumpstart my day. Reading my email I had an alert that bidding was closing at an auction house I hover around but never use. I opened the link and went through the paintings, silver, jewelry, high end purses, military stuff and ....... FURNITURE! Do I need furniture, no and I have done a pretty good job of downsizing these last few years. And then there it was, the word Stickley. I kind of go weak in the knees for Gustav Stickley.
It has never been in my budget to buy anything Stickley, not even a stick. As we all know I rock Craigslist, Facebook market place and hope my grave marker says: SHE PAID RETAIL FOR NOTHING. I think I audibly moaned when I saw the piece. Butch, neck deep in Golf Digest (no, he doesn't golf, just looks at pictures), Sailors Ahoy(he does sail) and Trenchless Technology (no idea but might come in handy for digging that moat!), looked across the breakfast table. I handed him the iPad and said; Look at this! He handed it back and said; How much? It's an auction and there's 1 hour and 40 minutes left. It's at $300. He peered up from Trenchless Technology; "Seriously?" Should we bid? We got up and went into his "office", a plastic folding table and paper boxes on the floor. Ya, I'll go to $350. So I registered and put in a bid of $350. We got out the tape measure and sure enough it would fit, sort of. We both agreed it was pretty big. And here was the grand selling point....... I could close the doors and poof the office mess would be gone! Go back and check the bid...... argh up to $450. So we hemmed and hawed and if we bought a desk, even on Craigslist we end up spending $250 or more to get what he wanted and needed. Go to $500, we can split it. I waited and with 30 seconds left and heart pounding. I hit my bid, I watched the clock countdown and waited to be outbid, surely to God someone will save us from ourselves........ nobody entered a bid. Did we get it? YES! Email alert; YOU'RE THE WINNING BID! I email back, can we pickup on Monday? Yes, we take all forms of payment.
Sunday the clean out started. Corner Cupboard went up on Craigslist
Sold and being picked up today but on Sunday we had to move it to the garage...... so far away. We wrestled it onto a dolly and carefully moved it down the driveway into the way too full studio of show booth stuff, which I just packed and moved all my big old self. Back in the house we measured all the doors and openings, analyzing the most strategic path, to get this thing in the house. Measure my van, I can fit my entire 10x10 booth and inventory ...... it is not going to fit. That is when reality hit how big this thing was. Clear the path and rest up for Monday Moving Olympics.
We had to rent a cargo van.
I get to the auction house, Butch meets me at the gate. I am told there will be two guys who can help load. A cute Russian gal meets us at the door and says; do you want to see what you bought? YES, YES we do!! And there against the back wall it a HUGE, GIANT PIECE OF FURNITURE, now ours. Oh Shit! Butch turns to Olga, can we sell it back? I love it and say where's the help and do you have a loading dock? Boris and Igor are having borscht, give them a minute. We had time to look around and I saw the $8,000 couch going to someone who probably doesn't have dog. All the stuff...... Olga pulled up our order on her computer and she said; Wow, you guys got a deal! We had a guy from Canada you were bidding against we thought for sure he would go high but he didn't want to pay for shipping. Great, here is my check, lets get this thing loaded, the van has to be back in 3 hours, borscht time is over. No loading dock and a dolly. two flights of stairs. I had just moved a corner cabinet to the studio and moved a couch and couple chairs. I put my shoulder into this beast and it's didn't budge, not a inch on the floor. Clearly we rocked moving cheap furniture but the real stuff, yikes. Olga looks at me with a wry smile and asks; "you move furniture before?" Yup, no problem. Butch is standing there sweating already. We ever so gently tip this thing onto the dolly and start heading for the door. These are times I wish I spoke Russian as there was yelling and sweating. It took 5 of us to get it to the van. Down the hallway where we could see daylight, Natasha jumps in from nowhere. In her thick Russian accent, she jumped in to take charge. Butch at this point starts saying very loudly.... talk to me boys, in English. Natasha laughs and says; Yes, I will interpret for you. Go left, go right..... 350 pounds on a dolly going down a ramp with a 90 degree curve at the end. I looked over at Olga, can you help I ask? "Nyet, I only do gems and jewelry." Olga retreated to the front. We got it loaded in the van, grabbed the chair and footstool, slammed the doors and headed back to Paine Falls. Butch followed in his car and we were both thinking....... WHAT HAVE WE DONE? Everyone in our neighborhood is old, retired or injured and the dog is blind so it was going to be us and us alone.
Butch suggested we hook it to the snowblower and just "walk it out" . I eye rolled and went for my show dolly, cardboard and 2x4's. Think like Archimedes, you can do this! And if it all goes south I can use the 2x4 to clobber Butch.
It took 5 of us to get this thing in the van, now we are two and we are over 65. Picture me standing at the end of van yelling "I GOT IT!" then in slow motion slowly being crushed by our dream piece of furniture. I have never said holy shit so much in my life! We wrestled it in the house just as the skies were darkening. We made it!
Ok, take the van back, get water, lots of water and take two aspirin! Butch had to go back to work and he made me promise I would not move it into place while he was gone. NO PROBLEM!
He rolled in 3 hours later and we now realized we had to move every single piece of furniture on the first floor to get this to where it needed to be. I'm not even sure the floors would support this thing. Note to self...... next time you need furniture go to IKEA!
We grunted, we groaned we called time out more than once and we got it there! Without Boris and Natasha!
It was 8:30 pm, we had been moving this thing since 10:30 am. Call me done. I sat down with something I was calling dinner when I hear Butch in the other room; Hey can you help me move the blueprint table? Oh and we should straighten the rug, (means move all the furniture off the rug) I'm shoving food in my pie hole so I have the will to go on; I yelled back..... where is that 2x4?
He was going into hyperdrive like a kid with a new toy and I was the parent who had stayed up all night assembling said toy. I messaged Dolita and complained. She wrote back; he's fluffing his nest, leave him alone..... Ya, I'm gonna fluff his nest! Alas we moved all the furniture, straightened the rug, and flipped on the Christmas tree for holiday cheer. I announced I was done for the day and ran upstairs to hid in bed. I took two aspirin before retreating up the stairs. He stayed up, moving lamps and chairs. Did I mention a chair and footstool came with the beast? These two pieces are Stickley but don't match and not sure why they didn't sell them separately. I have figured out they are both from the Harvey Ellis collection. I know nothing else about any of the pieces. I think we paid $15 a pound......
Today I will mop floors, lay the rugs and make a path for the dog. This sure rocked his world. I found him under the kitchen table trying to find the door to retreat to the upstairs.
This morning I walked around and felt like I had been on the bottom of a rugby scrum. My shoulder is wonky and the bruising has begun. But we are getting there and look the carpet is straight!
Wow...but you have yourself a beauty!
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