Friday, April 15, 2011

just one of those days.........

We all have them and today it was my turn for a doooozy!   The taxes were done but I choose to wait to write the big fat check to the government.  I am expecting a thank you, flowers and a bottle of the finest wine because I had been doing my finest whine since hearing the 2010 outcome.

(This blog is taking so long because the keyboard is sticky as I do not want to put the ice cream spoon down to type....... self medication is huge! )

As I was running out the door to the post office I heard my email alert me and since I am one genetic code away from Pavlov's dogs  I ran to see who would be sending ME an email!  OH BOY, look it's my big fat rejection notice to the American Craft Expo, which by the way I rocked last summer.  That can't be right so I went to the juried art services website....... yup there it was a big old red "X".  I don't get it?  I sold pots to just about every board member and their mother last year, in fact I almost sold out.  Didn't I hear the director say:  "We love you"?  Pimped out again!  and it only cost $40.

Walked out the door where the storm clouds and wind had moved in.  Nasty deed done I returned home, made coffee and walked out to the studio with the dog.  Dashing in the door a putrid smell hit us in the face.  The dog stood in the rain, backing away from the door.  I beckoned him in and he moonwalked backwards into the rain.

Sheesh what in the world could it be?  I followed my nose to the old fridge I keep seed potatoes there.  Gently opened the door and was met with dancing sprouts.  Just wait I said;  another week and you'll be in the ground.  Closed the door and moved on.  The smell was getting stronger.  Clearly something had died in the studio as it had that sweet smell of decay.  As I looked at the GFI receptacle I noticed the light was off.
Fireworks to brain....... the freezer!   I cracked the lid.  The dog yelped and I thought I killed him.

The power had failed when I was in Boston and it kicked off the GFI outlet.  Three weeks, three organic chickens, a brisket, a beef heart, 6 pkgs. of liver,  4 halibut steaks and a 10# bag, yes bag of rolled oats had been steeping in the warm freezer. Science project anyone?  Primordial ooze anyone?  Wow where is that artist from the NOC lecture?
I slammed the lid shut and looked at the dog.  What should we do?  He got one whiff and wagged his tail......  NO! we are not rolling in the freezer!   After realizing nobody was here to bail me out of this one I found my rubber gloves and body bags.

Actually this is Rachael preparing for fishing season in Alaska.  

I'm going in I said to the dog.  He said; Wait me first!  He was ordered to lay down and he did, right next to my feet.   My bucket was filled with ammonia and hot water, I thought it would kill the smell.  NOPE!  Did I mention it's a chest freezer?

Scooping out chunky pieces and parts mixed with slimmy oats I gaged and started talking like Tony Soprano........ "Franky you been swimm'n with the fishes"  If only I had a cigar!
By the fifth bucket of water the dog was snoring and the neighbors cats were dancing at the window.  Bagged, tagged and deposited in the big green toter on wheels the Monday morning trash guy was gonna die.  I will leave him 6 pack and note on the toter.  RED ALERT: drink all the beer before you open this toter!  Then again the raccoons were already dancing on the roof of the house and they didn't need a six pack!
Bucket after bucket of clean water was hauled out to the studio.
After an hour and half of scrubbing and gaging I was done.  I mixed a concoction of crushed charcoal briquettes, kitty litter and a pallet of baking soda in a bucket and placed it in the freezer.  I turned on the freezer and walked out of the studio.
I burned my clothes, lit my hair on fire, showered and still gaged.
C'mon I said; We're going for a walk to clear my head.  I couldn't even smell the bag of poop from the dog.
Hurry Spring I need to smell the flowers!


  1. AARGH!!
    It's bad enough when something vegetable goes off.....

  2. Any police I've talked to about "dead stuff" smells always told me that they carried stogies for just such an occassion. Funeral directors I've known told me they use Vick's smeared on the inside of a dust mask to work on really narly bodies. Tricks of the trade for the nastier stuff in life!

  3. thanks!
    Yesterday I put a bit of lavender essential oil in my throwing water and it worked great! The freezer is on the other side of the room and I had a small fan exhausting outside to keep the smell on the other side of the studio.

    Back to fruits and veggies for me!! Green bean salad tonight tossed with a wee bit of feta cheese and italian herbs!

  4. OMG....sounds awful. But, then again, what can you expect when power fails and Spring arrives? Glad that hound survived. Must watch your hawk - I'm a big birder. Looks really interesting. Hope you're well and missed the dreadful storm. I've some buddies live down in Tuscaloosa, of all places! Seems they're okay - thankfully!

  5. Thank you! We are well, onlyna few trees down and missed the house and the dog! Hope your buddies are OK, the pictures have been awful and our thoughts are with all those folks.