Wednesday, October 29, 2014

ticket to leave compound revoked…….

I have been in the studio nonstop, 'tis the season and every potter I know is in the studio with the pedal to the metal.  There are subtle signs that appear in the house this time of the year.   On the counter next to my dusty vitamins sits an open bag of chocolate chips. No time to bake just eat the chips.  Personal Grooming went out the window a few weeks ago, along with a balanced diet and regular exercise.  Last year my dear friend, who used to be potter, took a shower, combed her hair, put on a clean shirt, chap sticked her lips and dashed down to the post office to get a package in the mail.  The postal clerk told her how great she looked and did she get a new do? 
Nope, just cleaned up a bit, it's pottery season!   

Yesterday was my last follow up appointment with the knee Dr. at 8 a.m.  The guy is an hour away and in Cleveland rush hour traffic no less, I would need to be on the road by 6:50 am at the latest. 

 I worked in the studio until midnight the night prior to my appointment.  The next morning I made coffee, let the chickens out (they weren't even up yet!), uncovered the damp box in the dark morning hours, glanced at the weather and jumped in the shower.  Running a tad late, I only shaved one leg.  Horrors when they handed me the paper shorts!  I really thought I would roll up my pant leg and he would say; Looks great, have a nice day.  Instead, perched at the edge of the examine table, swinging my legs and looking for vine to swing on…. well with one leg.  My scarred and stitched leg was moisturized and shiny, the other one could have given King Kong a hard on.  
My dear Dr. smiled but bless him he never said a word when he compared my knees. 

This morning, the cat announced he just could not use his litter box anymore until I changed the litter.  So this litter box thing is new to me.  He is out all day and only sleeps in the house at night…. well I guess he's night pooper.  Yikes, Neil was ankle deep in tootsie rolls.  Ran to the local store for litter and thought I might as well pick up other groceries.  I was there at 8:00 am. it was great!  Nobody shops at 8:00 am. except really old people who wander the store and just stop, in the middle of the aisle because they can't remember what they were there for.  One poor guy was in his white sox, plaid shorts, just standing there scratching his head with his baseball cap tipped to the side.  Excuse me, can I just squeeze around.  SIR, EXCUSE ME … on the third try I backed up and went down another aisle.  The store was just filled with old people!  Have decided to shop at 2:30 pm during the week when harried mothers are dashing through the aisles like supermarket sweep!  My people! 

I ran to the cat aisle and found the only litter this cat will use.  His previous owner, Abby expressed openly how picky Neil is about his litter. Oh sure he will eat a mouse or blind mole but won't use any other brand of litter.  The mysteries of the universe!   The store only had a bag, I really wanted a plastic bucket because I could use it in the studio for glazing.  
Alas, I tossed the bag in the cart and made my way to check out.  

ARgh! checkout…… One aisle open and I am shopper #2.  I asked shopper #1 for a the red bar to put on the belt so our groceries would not mingle or touch.  I asked her twice but she must have been related to the guy still scratching his head in aisle #1.  I lunged across the belt and got the red bar, smiling at her.  She never said a word.  I hoisted a 12 pound frozen turkey onto the belt, whoa .69 a pound, thank you butterball!, two packages of hydroponic lettuce, organic celery and carrots, bananas, two organic apples, and a bag of kit kats for breakfast.   I brought my own bags and told the lovely check out lady, who speaks very little English to send it down the belt and I would bag it.  She has worked in this store for 25 years and she could pass for Mrs Swan, the very pretty nail lady.   She smiled and turned the belt on.  Bags packed, frozen turkey and cat litter tossed in the cart, I wrote out the check and handed her my drivers lic.  All done, grabbed the cart and the cart won't budge.  What is the problem?  I push harder and the cart feels like I'm pushing it up hill over a gravel parking lot.  I look down…… apparently when I tossed the 14# of cat litter in the cart, the bag ripped.  While I bagged my groceries, and wrote out my check, fourteen pounds of cat litter were draining onto the floor.  OMG!  I looked down and said to the non English speaking checkout woman….. do you have a broom?  I was mortified.  In all the years of buying dog food in 50# bags, not one had ever ripped open!  I tossed those over my shoulder, in the cart, in the trunk, no problem!  
It was like the cat followed me to the store.  
What does the check out woman say to me in her very loud broken English?  Oh NO! What you do?  You make big mess in my line.  OH God,  I was just shamed by the checkout lady?  I mouthed to the white haired woman behind me, I'm really sorry.  She just smiled and waved back.  A BROOM, DO YOU HAVE A BROOM, I will clean it up, so sorry.   
About this time I notice the clean up kid.  I love this kid, he has challenges, many challenges but he shows up every single day and he wears purple latex gloves everywhere!  He walks around the store, with a spray bottle of water, two rolls of paper towels, looking up, humming. He rocks jazz hands! I always look up too, every time, what is he looking at?  Absolutely nothing and I look every time.  I wave my hand at him and say;  Hi, DO …. YOU….. HAVE …. A …. BROOM?  
He hands me a roll of paper towels.  Thanks.  I want to crawl under my cart and go home.   
The store manager now shows up with a……. BROOM.  Please go get another bag of litter, I got this.  I want to kiss him.  

There is litter in everything from the lettuce to the netting on the frozen turkey.  I toss it all in the car and leave.  

Last stop, apples at the local orchard.  I love the local orchard.  Dashing in, I grab a small bag of apples with 8 apples, you know the paper bag with little paper handle and a picture of apples on the front.  I counted the apples when I got home because when I checked out with my paper bag of 8 apples the check out orchard woman said; That will be $11.00.  WHAT?  I was going to put them back and she said the peaches tanked this year.  So you doubled the price of apples?  But I felt guilty because it's a family farm and I bought the $11 apples.  And then she says to me…… do you want me to put them in a bag?  And I said, but they are in a bag.  And she says, No, a plastic bag.  And I say; you mean double bag?  And she says:  Oh, so you're a smart alec.  I left with my apples….. 

All this before 10 am this morning…… 

By 10:30 am I was in the studio, trimming, listening to a great book on tape, the cat was out killing things, I had hot coffee and I was happy.  
Do not leave the compound, ticket revoked! 

14 comments:

gz said...

What a day...all before10am!!!!

Sandy miller said...

Gz! Today will be better, I'm not leaving :)

cookingwithgas said...

Yep.it's a jungle out there. I'm teaching my students about bed head.l looked at myself yesterday as I left work. Good Lord girl, do you own a brush?
At least I was clean when I walked through the door.

Sandy miller said...

Ha! A brush...... What a concept! I'm passing myself off as Einstein for Halloween :)

Meredith, have a super fantastic day!!

smartcat said...

As you said, "Sometimes you're the cat; sometimes the mouse (bird)!"
I admit to a certain impatience with the grey geezers, even though I am of a certain age myself! I should do a post on the last experience!
I have found that keeping a brush in the car does wonders for my grooming. Also a lint roller as I am usually covered in animal hair! A friend says that plaid takes care of everything!

Tracey Broome said...

Sometimes I imagine a TV remote control pointed at you and the fast forward button being pressed, there you go zooming around twice as fast as the rest of us!
My life is in slow motion these days since I deleted pottery from the picture, something about making pottery made me rush around all the time trying to get things done. I am now a sloth and I like it like that:)

Sandy miller said...

So Suzi, have lint rolled your hair by mistake :)
I don't think I could ever have those two objects next to each other! Ha!

Oh please post on the grey geezers……. as I push 60 and I run over the truly old with my cart I think…… there by the grace of God, tread more softly. I can't…….

Sandy miller said...

Tracey! I have a friend who says her favorite hobby is napping :) Cracks me up!

So the secret to sane life is selling my pottery….. if I could find a damn job it could happen! But then what would I blog about!

Ingeborg Koot said...

please dont stop blogging Sandy, we all have days like yours, just dont write about it as well as you do. You light up our good life. Thank you again. PS I put some eye shadow on this morning going into the pottery. Made me feel better (I think) its so funny. I am going to potter now with my arthritic hand and have no more precious time to waste. Have a wonderful day too!!

Sandy miller said...

Ingeborg! Hope you are well and you are if you headed out to the studio sporting eye shadow!

Have decided to make my arthritic index finger for me as it's Halloween!

Life is just funny…….. after I get back to the studio and lock the door!

Peter said...

The cat isle of supermarkets is often a place where I strike up interesting conversations with total strangers... We are all trying to satisfy the unreasonable and impossible demands of a cat, and it is comforting to spend a moment comparing notes! I have never had to worry about cat litter, our cats have done all that sort of thing outside... thank God! But our cat is quite particular about Where she will perform her most intimate functions... For her this all has to take place on a bare piece of ground where we occasionally have coal delivered. Even if I park a vehicle over the spot... she will get underneath and struggle away without enough headroom! I suppose that, if I ever had to offer the option of cat litter to her, it would have to be coal dust!

By-the-way, I really love the photos on your previous post of the freshly made batter bowls and colanders, and the spriggy bits round the handles. It is really lively and beautiful work, and makes me happy just to see it!

Sandy miller said...

Hi Peter! As a new cat owner I am mystified at the rituals of the feline. He has outdoor habits and makes me laugh. We don't have a coal yard but we have chicken coop :) Neil can keep me entertained for hours and think cat-cam might be in order but then I'd need chicken cam too!

Thank you for you kind words on those new pots! It has been years since I seriously attacked functional ware. Coming full circle…… a 30 year circle!

Linda Starr said...

cats like to poop inside because the cat litter is so easy to dig in (says she with two cats) and the bags are never strong enough for cat litter. all the work you're doing in clay puts me to shame

Sandy miller said...

Hi Linda, well that would explain my pea gravel garden paths these days……. a stroll through the garden isn't what it used to be!

The studio is a good place for me to be these days as we merge into cold short days :)