Well the heat has hit Paine Falls and I'm sequestered to the bunker. We don't have air conditioning. The "real feel" temperature is 97F/36C. Just moved my van and the thermometer said 122F/50C from sitting in the driveway. I jumped in the front seat and thought my pants were on fire.... it's hot! Thankful for high ceilings, ceiling fans and one window unit air conditioner.
As promised, my current rant on "DUDES".
We hired a handy man, not off Craigslist, shocking! Wow, he talked a great line, said the right words, had a fair price (not cheap). Soooo I hired him to replace an indoor door jam, re-hang the existing door and replace the back patio doors.
Which I had ordered, they came in wrong and were sent back..... I have grey hair and a twitchy eye over these patio doors. Handy Dude said he could easily get'er done in one day. There has to be a mark on the curb!
Finally the day arrived, Handy Dude's ETA(estimated time of arrival); 8:30 am. I moved all the pottery, weaving table, a bazillion pairs of boots and shoes, made coffee, ran the vacuum and I was ready! 9:30 am, 10:30 am, 11:00 am Ba-RING..... "My fiancé had a bunch of stuff for me to do before I was allowed to leave, but I am on my way (he is not 19, he is a man with bits and bobs of grey hair). Thought I'd just do the interior door today". Seriously DUDE? RED FLAG! I want a flag or stun gun or a paint ball gun and every time a DUDE says or does something so off the charts I get to tag, flag or shoot something that makes pink welts as to the offending issue! He finally showed up with a van full of tools, a big ego and not so many skills. These are projects I am willing to pay a fair amount to have completed; as I really thought it was a wee bit above my skill level. NOT! (and therein lays the difference between DUDES and woman) I needed an interior door jam replaced and the door hung straight. My super fab Handy Dude was here 9 hours...... because he did not have a clear idea how to replace the jam as it was not in a prefab kit! I was supposed to get an oak door jam and threshold...... I got poplar and I know what poplar is! It is a soft wood. OMG can I get your fiancé's number and get a few tips on making you jump though my hoops? We paid him so he would go home and we could make dinner.
The trim pack was a kit.....
not a real threshold ..... I will be replacing this (as I have tools) and he thought this was
magnificent and quite proud of himself. These are the times I am out of words.
I will be puttying and painting for a month on this jam..... after I pick up 1,000 brad nails shot from his nailer gun and replacing the ceiling fan pulls he ripped out. The ceiling fan is not that close to the jam and I found nails under the tv cabinet. DUDE!
He would be back next week for this project with his DUDE buddy, who has a trailer and can pick up new doors at Home Depot. I am not a fan of Home Depot and have written them numerous letters over the years; I am sure I have a secret file in their vault. But then there goes that twitchy eye!
Friday morning, BaRing! Handy Dude calls and would like to drop the door off so they can get right on it Saturday morning. When are you dropping the door? Dunno maybe after work today. Since there are storms in the forecast can we put it in your garage? Holy Mother of all DUDES! It's a STUDIO, NOT A GARAGE. Yes, just get the door here! My eye twitches madly. I hung up and jumped into panic mania as the STUDIO had been turned into a garden shed the last few months. I was throwing pots on the other side but the big door side looked like Penelope Hobbhouse was having a tool shed sale! And as I am her illegitimate daughter it was so much worse. All tools, big ass bicycle tire garden cart, bags, so many mismatched pairs of garden gloves and knee pads all had to be relocated to the shed. NO NO NO NOT THE SHED! The shed has all my glaze chemicals on one side, garden stuff on the other side and Butch gets the back third for Christmas decorations and his guy stuff. I slowly opened the door and cried. How does this happen? Jumbled piles of garden stakes and soil amenders and raku barrels and giant yard tools! Who the hell buys snow shovels and rakes for Paul Bunyan? BUTCH! I tried using that rake once and thought about lighting it on fire but it's neon green plastic and that snow shovel! So I tossed those to the back third of the shed where they bounced off the GIANT snowblower he had to have. I thought he would be hiring himself out last winter, nope just wanted the biggest snow blower he could find and why does it need to be in the shed? And the lawn mower and the GIANT Stihl, gas guzzling weed whacker? I have jerked my arm out of the socket yanking on that thing, I hate it! I have a cute little Black and Decker, electric. Works great, does the entire place, it has has never once attacked me and and and ....... I am supposed to be making pots and getting a kiln load ready to go up tonight. This task is monumental and the mice had moved in over the winter too. Just dive in, one thing first and keep going.
Late Friday night while I lay unconscious on the floor of the shed; BaRing.... I'm not cool with ripping out your doors in storm how about we do it on Sunday, my fiancé is cool as she can have me all day Saturday. I don't have eyeballs big enough or eyebrows high enough for that eye roll! Great, see you and Dude 2 at 8:30 am with the doors, right?! 8:30 am, 9:30 am, 10:30 am ...... BaRing! I got your door and you probably want hardware right? Polished Brass or Satin Bronze ..... I DON'T CARE..... ok satin bronze. 11:10 am..... BaRing. I need a $100 repair kit for the damaged door. Which by the way we are paying full price for so a damaged door is not acceptable. Well, let me see what I can do, maybe they have another one in storage. 11:45 am BaRing, nope nothing in storage. Butch answered that call and clearly said: We are not taking the door, not even if it's free. Go Home Handy Dude..... just go home. We will find a door and order it and when it gets in we will call you. In the background I was jumping up and down and my hair, was on fire, my eye was twitching and I was mouth screaming NO NO NO!! DONE! FINITO!
Later that day; BaRing........ I feel real bad about this and and and ...... And I was in the studio and missed this call or I would have been reaching for the paint ball gun to stop the bromance!
The door has been special ordered, there will be no packing in a small door! I can hear my Dad in my ear; Do it right or don't do it at all. Save up and get the best tools for the job. Make sure your tools are in good working order; oiled and sharp. And....... take your time and work it out, you'll get there. Miss you Dad, it worked on me but not so much on the DUDES of the world.
And then today three DUDES showed up with a tow motor and yes, they were total DUDES, and dropped this new project off.......
But get ready as we are doing this together........ this summer is gonna kill me!
So DUDES of the world beware because the nuts don't fall from this lady tree! Both daughters are knee deep in renovation work of their own and did not hire any DUDES!
Daughter #2: MOM, can I scrape latex paint with this?
Daughter #2 Mom check this out!
Daughter #1: I have to get the couch in my new house so I'm just gonna sawz-all the shelves and shove it through.
Daughter #1: MOM, I haven't had a shower in 10 or maybe 12 days.
Daughter #1: Floors are almost installed, my hands are killing me.
MOM to Daughter #1....... you have a ways to go LOL!
Adventures with the Miller chicks as we are not DUDES! And yes you can!
oh man been there so many times, we found our handy man at the home depot when we were looking at tile and he was too. The economy has picked up and he is very busy with big jobs now. I;ve found youtube is a great resource for researching projects; you can do it
ReplyDeleteHi Linda! This was supposed to be treat, one of the project I didn’t need to do, trying to use my hands for pottery, gardening, kitchen stuff, knitting and put the hammer down for once, Hahaha lesson learned ☺️ You’re right though, the economy has picked up and the guy who helped me with my old kitchen is off building new homes..... by this age I’m finding our skills are endless 😂👍🏻❣️
DeleteYou are more than capable enough to hang out your own shingle as a Handy Dudette, my friend ... my observation ... most of the Dudes (and Dudettes) available for small jobs are not all that great because if they were capable they'd be working on big jobs ... B
ReplyDeleteHaha Brenda, I had a weak moment and just wanted it done ........ instead of one more thing on my list (which seems endless :) back to making lists and checking it twice LOL! Dudetts, love it!
DeleteYou just made me realize how fortunate I was that husband #1 and husband #2 were both excellent master carpenters.
ReplyDeleteThe down side: 1, The cobbler’s children go barefoot. 2. I am extremely fussy if I hire someone to do work for me.
I won’t go into tree felling. 😉
Hi Suzi! Oh WOW! you hit the lottery!! I think because we are crafts people we might set the bar a bit high, especially as sell to the public. I always always always put my best stuff out and would be embarrassed it I put canisters out with wobbly lids or uneven foot rings. I am just STILL amazed at what DUDES think they're good at LOL!
DeleteHiring things out can be scary. I now only call contractors that are referred by friends to do work. We have a slider that will need replacing... Jeff is thinking of tackling it himself. He did this type of work many years ago, but like you said... at this age we need to save our hands and backs for other jobs that we enjoy!
ReplyDeleteHi Michèle! Argh this was a referral LOL! I put in a slider in the kitchen and tell Jeff he needs a buddy! It's heavy and hard to level and nail, even with shims! Maybe if the economy tanks some of the guys who I found in the past but are now building new home builds will be back to handyman status...... until then I'm blowing the dust off the compressor! :)
Deletewowser!!! I think i got it.... shoddy workmanship and unreliable....urggggg. You got this chic! :D :D :D
ReplyDeleteHaha! Ya as soon as get out of the studio 😂..... don’t know why but still amazed these “DUDES” can make a living...... it’s called SKILLS Dudes 🙄
ReplyDeleteWow. Your adventure with the DUDES wore me out. I took a nap to rest up. I, too, am tired of dealing with DUDES. I have a small group of Good Old Boys who fix anything and get it right, but it has taken a lifetime of scrutiny to get my personal list together. I hope you find the right guys for the jobs you need done. Sometimes the right guys are actually the gals!
ReplyDeletecan you share our list with us?
DeleteI'M LAUGHING hysterically at your misfortune but not because of the incompetence you have had to endure, because of the way you write it and express it! I love it! It's so disappointing to learn you have hired a DUDE. I lost $9750 down payment on a job that was supposed to be started by 2 DUDES, they never started, skipped town, shot it up their arms, whatever. Lesson learned! I feel for all of us that have been taken advantage of. We are kind, trusting, honest people and we expect everyone else to be like us. NOT. I hope it works out for you. Just in case you ever get into a fix again, I have a wonderful guy who did all the finish carpentry work, cabinet installation etc. on our 123 cluster homes where I live when they were being built.
ReplyDeleteI starting realize how many of us have scar tissue from "DUDES"! Yikes if they come in pairs beware! Yup, I think you are absolutely right, most of us are nice people who wake up and try to make the world a better place and the thought of scamming anybody doesn't even enter our consciousness and we get blindsided by the freight train of reality. Argh so sorry about your DUDES! Really great you found a reputable guy though and yes, I will probably send you a message to get his name! The patio doors are coming and I really really really don't want to install that one!
DeleteLoving your musical adventures this summer and the bourbon trail looked pretty good too LOL!
I'm a renter, but I always shudder when my land-owners hire some DUDE to fix something---"What will go wrong this time?"
ReplyDeleteLast time a plumber came to replace a pipe under a clogged sink---the pipe had also broken--and he replaced the pipe, BUT LEFT THE CLOG (just beyond the pipe).
My land-owners spent an hour snaking it afterward.
Of Dudes and their Inflated Self-Estimation, there is no end.
Oh gawd, that is awful! From this one post I can't believe the stories sent my way of bad contractors and "DUDES"! I cringe every time I think I'm ready to hire somebody to do something..... argh. Scar tissue, we are all just full of scar tissue!
Delete