Saturday, February 23, 2013

kill me.........

Sitting here waiting for a kiln to cool so I can unload test tiles and see what I will be doing the next two days.  
MMp (Mr. Madpotter) lit out the door at 5:30 a.m. on this lovely Saturday morning telling me he had a big concrete pour and he was late.  Love you, miss you, want you......... SLAM!  Bye Honey..... 
Now I am wide eye awake and isn't even the butt crack of dawn and it's Saturday.  

Made my awesome breakfast of steel cut oats, rye flakes and 1 tablespoon of real maple syrup washed down with hibiscus tea and a handful of herbs (literally!)  Check the chickens, check the kiln, clean the studio, answer the phone, make shopping list.  While outside I noticed the temperature had ticked up.  Whoa!  It was 33 degrees and it felt balmy.  Indeed 5 more degrees and I will break a sweat  and need a Brazilian or just have hot flash and shave one leg (it's all I have time for) 

Keys in hand, shopping bags securely locked under armpit, list clenched in teeth, ready to roll.  God, I hate grocery shopping.  Opened the door to my truck but noticed pulling in the driveway behind the truck....... the little black clown car.  I'm back, short day!  Where ya going?   That's Great, I said!  Make coffee, I'll be back in an hour!  Hey!!!  How 'bout I come with you?  My inside voice is screaming, throwing myself on the driveway and pounding fists on pavement.... no, no, no, no.......   my outside voice said;  Great!  

We shopped.  I never go to the middle of the store I prefer to stay in produce and a very quick trip through anything else I might need like toilet paper!  I have not tried making my own yet. Oh and on another rant.  My feet have been killing me since I started walking so much but figured they should hurt because I had not used them in months.  Alas..... discovered I have plantar warts on the balls of my feet!  I am now checking my armpits for locusts.  I hate this!  and I hate the Dr.!  So I perused the foot care aisle, there is a lot of stuff in the foot care aisle!  I shared space with a little old man tethered to an oxygen tank in the baby seat of his cart.  He smiled and gasped for air.  I want to go to Victoria Secrets and shop for underwear right now!  Instead I spied some stuff in a bottle that promises to burn the little bumps right off in one application.  Whoa!  Times have changed!  Flashing back to when I was a kid being raised by crazy Hungarian people and wolves I had complained about a wart on my pinkie finger.  Never ever complain about anything to short Hungarian old people about anything!  Especially body things!  In Hungarian she said:  Give me your finger!  I did because nobody was faster than my cute little Granny at whacking you upside the head and then while holding your head and crying, she grabbed your finger or toe and yanked a splinter.  I have never been able to match the speed of 5'2" 75 year old Hungarian!  
Ooooo she said;  You have a wart!  Dragging me out to the old Dodge and opening up the hood of the big brown beast she found the battery.  She pulled an eye dropper out of her apron and dropped battery acid on my pinkie wart!  Slapped a canvas bandaid on it and order me to go play.  She did it again the next day and the day after that....... by the third day I asked her to just put my finger in the battery, it would be easier and I had a headache.  

Back at the foot aisle I thought this is clear liquid and for all I know it could be battery acid in a nice blue and yellow package.  Yikes!  It even has cute little oblong post it note thingy (bandaid) that looks like canvas.  $10 and that includes a pumice stone. Battery acid was free!  I am sure I can grind the pumice stone down into powder and use in a glaze recipe at a later date.  

Meanwhile MMp  was drooling at the lunchmeat counter.  Do not bring crap into the house I ordered.  I know but look at this stuff!  He ordered something called antipasta mix for 7.99 a lb.  You know those are just all the icky butt ends off the processed lunch meat and cheese, tossed with italian dressing and pickled peppers thrown in?  Yeah, it's really good.  He tossed it in the cart.  I whisked him away from the hydrogenated fat crackers, potato chips, corn chips and cheese doodles.  He said ....... but I like a snack in the car on the way home.  Fine but let me pick it out!  

We packed our canvas shopping bags, loaded the car, merged into traffic and I got out the surprise snack.  Something I could eat too and can I just say I love these!  Little tiny round rice crackers with a roll of seaweed around the middle.  These are way cuter than chips!   We hit the road and he held out his hand.  I deposited 3 seaweed crackers in the palm of his hand.  He never looks at what he is eating, eyes on the road and he popped one in his mouth.  I watched his face wrinkle up and turn into complete disgust.  WHAT IS THAT?  as he rolled down his window and blew the offending morsel into the street.  Rice cracker with seaweed, it's good for you.  C'mon, you sailed on that stupid boat all summer, doesn't this taste like the lake?  Can't your feel the sea breeze on your face while you're eating that cracker?  Yeah, but I think a seagull pooped on it he retorted!  Shut up and try another one, these are way better than chips!  I couldn't believe it he held out his hand and asked for another.  By the time we got home half the bag was gone......... 


I'm going to the studio........ 

2 comments:

smartcat said...

This is not An Old Wives Tale....Duct tape cures plantars warts. It takes a while but it works and is a whole lot nicer to the body than batter acid. (Battery Acid?

Sandy miller said...

Wow! If the stuff in the bottle doesn't work I'm going with the duct tape! Thank you!!! I love stuff like this! The battery acid worked but thanfully today batteries are sealed...... The EPA or whom ever passed that law must of heard about Grandma. Thank goodness :)