The view from my treadmill this morning.........
A week, I made it a week!!!
In one week I have learned the following:
1. At 55 my container is out of control! Yesterday I caught my reflection in the glass window huffing and puffing
my way to lithe and willowy. My first thought....... Heffalumps and Woozels!
If the Madrid fault gives way between 9 and 10 a.m. I am going to feel so responsible!
2. A dyslexic should never have a treadmill with buttons!
I thought I was adjusting the incline but no it was the speed. This body is clearly not built for speed.
Thinking I am adjusting the speed I hear leavers or gears whining and I am thrust up a 10 degree hill
running at 6 mph, thought my lunges were coming out my nose! Grabbing the bars and hanging on
for dear life I found the stop button! Who designs these things?
3. My kids decorate their bodies with tattoos and have egged me on for the last couple years. At 55 there
is nothing I am that passionate about; and besides stuff changes all the time!
Now I am thinking flames on my ass might be a nice statement.
At 3.5 mph I am just burning up the rubber belt!
4. I own a Pro-form, EKG grip pulse treadmill. After a week of gripping it I still don't know how this works but
I have not set off one buzzer or alarm so I think I am ok. Although running 6 mph on a 10 degree incline
one would think shock paddles would have dropped from the grab bar!
5. I hate the dog. Please see attached pictures. It is not nap time or snack time while I am coughing up a lung!
6. If the tv remote falls off the control panel do not run on it! Let it roll past your flailing feet to the end of the belt where it
will be deposited in front of the dog.
7. The treadmill does get boring and one cannot skip faster than 3.5 mph. You just can't and not skin your knees.
8. You cannot drink a glass of water while jogging along at 3.8 mph 45 minutes into your work out! Realizing it was going to
kill me I turned to the side and spit on the dog! Shut up, it's raining! and he moved to his side of the floor.
9. If I make tall thin pots instead of fat round pots will I start to look like my pots?
10. Why aren't there any potters who are also long distance runners? I have coughed up enough clay dust to make a pot!
11. I cannot type anything after 60-70 minutes of pounding as my fingers have not calmed down from clutching the grab bars!
12. 22 day until the Olympics!!