GET IN THE CAR!!!

This is our first "together" vacation in 20 years.  We don't travel well together.

I am not posting anymore stories until I return from the south.  I think I will be 

writing long into the night on my return trip.  This trip could be quite interesting.

Why we think this is a good idea is beyond, it was a weak moment on my part.

This should explain why we do not travel well together.

This is not a plant!  I think it was a poinsetta but I can't remember.  He brings

these things home every Christmas.  He cannot go to the grocery store and come

home empty handed any given day after Thanksgiving.

They are in every room in the house, along with Christmas

trees. When I was a kid, one tree was enough.  One tree was all Santa needed.

Not Butch, each kid had a tree in their room and one in the dining room & one in the back room.

Live balled and burlaped trees with root balls and real dirt.  

He dragged them up the stairs, he dragged them down the stairs, he dragged them 

through the house, he dragged them through dust bunnies, he made sure there was one 

next to the dogs bed.  The dog thought he died and went to heaven with trees in every room. 

The only thing better might have been fire hydrants.

He decorated all the trees and dismantled.  GREAT!

The kids friends thought this was the greatest house ever!

My job, slap a wreath on the door, blow the dust off baby jesus until the dog ate him and 

bake, shop, wrap and whine about pine needles in my socks.

Back to the poinsettas, I am not a fan of the poinsetta.  They are great for a few weeks but then

they really need to go.  The man I married believes otherwise and thinks we

can keep them going until next Christmas.  THESE ARE NOT AN INVESTMENT!

and we can't eat them.

Every week I inch them closer to the trash can.  The next morning I notice they

are back to their regimented place on the kitchen counters.  He waters, picks off

dead leaves and admires them.

Once or twice a week I feel it's my duty to point out they're not doing very well.

Don't you think they are loosing leaves? I ask.  

No!  They look great!

This is what he said about the specimen pictured above.  It's clear, I married

Charlie Brown.

The "Merry Christmas" spelled out in neon roping still hangs over

our front porch. 

We came home tonight and he said:  "Oh look at that Merry Christmas sign."

"C'mon, Sandy I did pretty well this year, I got everything else down".

Mental check;  Nope, I'm pretty sure each and every door still has a wreath on it and

hey what about those big gold bells that freak the dog out?  The entire month of December

every time the wind blows the big giant bells Butch yells...... I BELIEVE!  

I burned the Polar Express.

He retorts; Those don't count, they are on the back door.  

Every year he puts up the decorations

and I just know something red and green will be hanging until the Easter Bunny shows up!

I win again!

This does not make me feel good about wedging myself in the tiny Nissan Versa for 16 hours.  

Abby is staying home to watch the dog.....

If any of my neighbors are reading this and you happen to see smoke coming from this end of town

could you do a drive by and make sure my house hasn't gone up in flames. 

Abby and the dog, home alone for a week.  

So help me if the dog has a tattoo when I get home there

will be hell to pay!