I feel like I need a life jacket.......

It's been hot, it's been cold and it's Ohio in April.  There is no set schedule but it's always busy!  The earth is waking up and then decides to roll over and go back to sleep.  Just keep planting, just keep making pots, just keep starting seeds.  The days I put my blinders on and don't answer the phone or look at my email I get stuff done!  The days I do look or answer the phone, I get stuff done at 10:00 pm.  I am glad the days are longer, although I just don't have the energy to garden much past 8 pm or in the dark anymore.  

The warm days take me an extra hour at night for tick checks........ they are back, they are early and they are abundant!  

Time to release the chickens....... oh but that neighbor who fears for his life when they're out.  Me, I'd rather have a pack of rabid chickens with switchblades than a nest of ticks any day! 

The girls know Spring has sprung too as laying is in hyperdrive!  These three sweeties are giving us a dozen plus eggs a week.  Tractor Supply, now has a 6 chicken limit and I really don't want 6 more chickens!  I wouldn't mind three more but 6 is too many.  Chickens are like prunes for breakfast; how many are enough? When is it too many and when you realize it's too many, it's much too late.         

Garden is ON!  I am so excited that we have been eating out of the garden since mid March!  And there is so much more to come!  I spent a couple days flipping the compost pile and realized some of the chicken bedding from last Fall has not broken down yet.  I stopped myself from spreading it on the garden, way too hot and way too much nitrogen!  Making a few changes this year on the subject of mulch.  I will only be buying a few yards for the shrubs and perennial beds.  The vegetable and fruit gardens will be getting mulched with grass clippings mixed with composted leaves.  Should keep the moisture in and it will slowly decompose.  Again a lot of nitrogen!  Too counter all this nitrogen I stepped up my phosphorus.  So the mad scientist strikes again.  Every year is different but we are off to a good start.

Planted red chieftain and blue potatoes in grow bags, realized I had way too many potatoes for the amount of grow bags so I sprinkled potato chits all over this place, between the blueberry bushes, the gooseberry bushes, in the strawberry and asparagus patch. The spinach is on round 2, radishes just keep coming, loving the new kale varieties, and the best turnips ever!  New favorite radish is "Hailstone"! 

Still starting seeds (9 flats),  several dinners with this years asparagus, so much time hauling trays in and out of the back door twice a day.  It really is time for a hoop house. 

Planted 11 new blueberries around the gardens.  Trying several dwarf varieties this time.  All the branches that have been piling up were run through the shredder and used around the new blueberry bushes.  We have had so much wind and cold weather it's been more like March than April.  

The rain barrels are now over flowing, during the first planting cycle I drained them down by two thirds, it was that dry!  Now the rain won't stop.  The lettuce and radishes are so happy! Cool, wet weather, bring on the brassicas! 

There has been time for much needed R&R too, botanical gardens and museums. 

the kitchen is always busy.......

And then in the middle of blizzard, this winter,  I signed up for space in a community garden too.  I don't have enough sun to grow everything my heart desires so I rented an 8' x 12' raised bed in the local community garden.  I also realize I don't get off the compound much and thought this might be a good way for me to start interacting with the locals again.  Ran over and looked at the very small bed and realized the dirt is crap and will need amended before anything goes in the ground!  Then I got an email that we were having a work day; 4:00 pm to 5:30 pm on a Tuesday.  Cool!  It was chilly and the rain was on its way.  This garden is on the north end of town and I have no idea what the soil is like on the north end of town.  I assumed it would be a lot like I have here, sandy loam.  This is what I walked into.......

Muck, black stinking muck.  Last year someone had put huge sheets of black plastic over this area to kill the weeds.  Big mistake!  Weeds were sprouted and ready to emerge when we pulled all that black plastic off.  Why not sheet mulch?!  Cardboard, wood chips, straw, grass clippings; thick and deep.  There were thousands of dead drowned worms laying in pools of water on top of the black plastic.  8 of us slogged through the water, removed heavy pipe and rolls of chain link fence before we could even get to the plastic.  Then we had to cut the plastic from the spikes pounded in the ground that plotted out the area.  Under stern commands we were told; under no circumstances were we allowed to remove those spikes.  By this time I was just pissed.  There is no reason to ever ever prep a bed like this..... I probably should have walked away but did I? OH NO....... I stuck it out and sucked up stinky air.  Quickly realizing the rest of the world moves at a snails pace and I do not.  PEOPLE!  We have an hour and half to get this plastic off, rolled up, put away, and the beds staked out.  No one was really directing anyone and the rain clouds were looming large.  I suggested we work in quadrants in case we got rained out.  And one lovely woman came in ballerina flats and her office clothes..... no one had tools to dig the plastic out of the trenches, it was bull shit!  One guy, kept standing on the plastic while I was trying to roll it up.  Get off the fucking plastic stir or I will roll you up and they won't find you until next Fall when they unroll this holy mess again.  And YES let's roll the water into the middle so it's twice as heavy when we have to pick it up and carry it away.  WTF?  I was covered in mud, my pocket knife was covered in mud, my face had streaks of mud and I don't play well with others.  I went into survival mode, and I'm not even going to have a garden in this area as I have a small raised bed I can see from this mud hole.  Another tip people; do not leave any tools on the ground because you elevated us from "gardeners" to the Three Stooges! The shovel was worthless.  It sunk in the ground and made a sucking noise when you pulled it out.  Everything was heavy, everything was wet, everything was covered in mud and I was cranky.   I left my compound, never leave the compound.  I don't play well with others and I constantly run with scissors.  Why is this such a hard lesson for me? 

I retreated to the studio and the wheel is spinning again.  I have applied to several shows this year.  

Honestly I don't know how this year will shake out as keep hearing we are in or headed into a recession but I can't just stop making stuff.  

Ya, there is a lot going on here in Paine Falls but I picked out my new knitting pattern and I'm gonna look great!

 

I'm in Hell and my pants are on fire......

 What can possibly happen in a few weeks since my last post..... oh so much.  

I had to adult, I hate adulting and I suck at adulting. 

How did you start your day?  Here is my view: a seat the local social security office....... 

I tried to register for social security during covid when everything was closed and I was told: "It's so easy, do it online!"  I did...... for days I entered codes, information only to be kicked off or "please call the Social Security Office". I spent days on hold until I finally got a lovely woman who said: I'm not getting off this call until we have you signed up!  She was great and could not figure out why I could not log on either.  Then she said the magic words:  "We'll just go in the backdoor."  I didn't care I'd have taken a flaming door to Hell at that point.  However, she did it and I started having money appear in my account every month, it was magic.  Well after spending last week filing my annual taxes, I realized I didn't take any deductions out for taxes.  Sooooo I spent yesterday in Social Security purgatory.  I sat at my desk with my cell phone to one ear and a landline to my other ear.  One to the federal office and one to the local office.  The federal office had a 10 minute lead on the local office.  The local office won after 22 minutes on hold, a real person answered the phone!  I was told I had to physically go down to the office and someone had to set up the account.  Kill me now I thought.  I have been to this office before, it never goes well.  The rows of black chairs, the smell of sanitizer, the shiny floors, the very public bathroom, the armed guard with a revolver, mace, handcuffs a P38 and a belt just full of misbehaving toys. I walked up to an electronic greeter box and punched in my SSN#, my reason for being there and it spit out a number.  I am #40, the board states they are serving 936-A.  One window was open and two other windows were rolled down, hurricane armored shut. One woman behind a hermetically sealed, bulletproof glass, serving a room full of humanity; wheezing, sleeping, whispering in foreign languages.... humanity. Exactly, where does #40 fit into this number sequence?  It took me a minute but quickly realized 3 numbers and letter were for Hispanic customers only.  Sure enough, as I waited and waited, I realized the couple in front of me spoke not a word of English and the woman at the window spoke not a word of Spanish.  They were using google translator off the woman's phone to try and get something done.  They went back and forth and back and forth and questions were asked 3-5 times.  The woman behind the glass kept asking and smiling. I felt like I was in a game of bad charades; SOUNDS LIKE, 4 LETTERS, try again....  Then the man had to go back out to his car......to retrieve even more papers while the room waited.  Yes, please kill me.  Hey!  I have my papers!! I can be outta here in two minutes, I swear!  We live in a community with a huge influx of migrant workers every Spring.  Every Spring the nurseries bring them into the Social Security office by the bus loads, 30 at a time, every Fall they return home and the city empties out.  It's like the cycle of lemmings or migrating wildebeests.  You cannot stop it, nor do I want to stop it; as the nurseries support this community, we have over 100 nurseries in Lake County, Ohio.  We ship stock all over the country.  It's hard work and doesn't pay very well, I know, I worked in the industry.  Not many want to work this hard for this little pay. 

I beat the buses but still had to watch this unfold.  I sat in a room with a man in a wheel chair who was very chatty, a woman on an oxygen tank who finally couldn't take it anymore and went out side for cig.  I almost followed her, we could have both gone up in a vapor if the oxygen tank leaked and the smiling security officer.  There were so many others; sleeping is good way to pass your time waiting but what if they call your number and your snoring away in the back of the room, drool running out the corner of your mouth.  Do I really need Social Security, can I live without it, is this all worth it, am I this fucking old...... maybe but that would be un-American. Right?   I endured......everyone lived but why I can't I get this on Amazon? 

A couple months ago a letter showed up in my mailbox from these folks: 

AUTOMOTIVE TESTING FCA US LLC

My 2017 Dodge Promaster City van is on the hit list for an emissions test IUVP (In-Use Verification Program, regulated by the Federal Clean Air Act through the Environmental Protection Agency and the Air Resources Board, which requires vehicle manufacturers to conduct emissions  tests on randomized, privately owned vehicles.  And they picked my van...... 40,483 were sold in the US and my van got picked, should I buy a lottery ticket? They called several times, I answered a bunch of questions and they made it sound like I won the lottery.  I did not but I care about the planet!  A guy drove to my house from Ann Arbor, MI this morning and picked up my van for 4-5 weeks of testing and left me with this.....

I get a full tank of gas, unlimited mileage and a $500 check for a the duration of time.  Kirby hates it!  It has seats, no spacious back area with his orthopedic bed but he has a window...... but wait, he can't see. The interior is black, really clean black, the blackest fabric that works like a magnet for a big yellow dog during shedding season.  Bless the person at the rental agency who has to clean this vehicle when it gets back to Ann Arbor.  I explained my van was a work vehicle (I work in white porcelain and stoneware) and a yellow dog transport vehicle.  This is what they bring.  My van has a key, this has button.  It took me fifteen minutes to adjust the seat, mirrors and figure out how to start it.  I drove it to the Social Security office, I almost backed over a little black Kia.  After Social Security I made my monthly trip for supplies; Sam's Club, Trader Joes and Aldi's.  I never figured out how to open the tail gate and it still remains a mystery.  I rode home with a rotisserie chicken in the front seat and groceries packed in the wheel wells.  Bells and alarms going off constantly.  

Then this happened.......

The washer and dryer we ordered Feb 20th and finally showed up.  On a rainy Saturday, the guys unloaded the truck in the driveway and I moved my van.  I walked up the driveway and noticed the dryer looked funny.  I asked the kid; You know this is a stackable set right?  He backed up and looked at it a couple times, snapped his fingers, pointed at me and said: Bingo, you have a good eye.  It's the wrong dryer.  Great.  So they hooked up the washer and I ran back to Lowe's trying to figure out where my dryer was sitting.   Nothing, crickets....... someone will call you tomorrow morning.  I waited and waited.  Finally the delivery company called me and said; the sales guy had ordered the wrong dryer.  How long will this one take to get here, I asked.  Oh, we have that one in stock all the time.  Wait, what?!  I had to wait 6 weeks because he said they had to get this dryer from the plant, where ever that might be!  Nope, we have these all the time.  So I could have had this a month ago?  Yes, ma'am and this one is $200.00 cheaper.  Great, I already paid for the other one.  The same guys came three days later with the correct dryer and set it up.  Back to Lowe's for a $200 refund and the extra parts.  I did not want a steam dryer but they charged us for all the hookups, $32.  Finally, home, read all the directions, load the washer and cannot get it to work for anything.  I called Lowe's to see if someone could walk me through all the read outs and prompts.  I called Maytag, they do not want talk to anybody, ever!  While I was on hold, I sat on my red stool and started punching buttons.  I actually got the door to lock and then nothing.  After I cursed it, cried a bit and kicked it, I finally figured out the the delivery guy never flipped the valve to turn the water on.  Fours hours of my life spent on a washing machine and don't even get me started on the dryer.  God, the rocks at the river are looking good!  Every thing has a delay and a button to hold and push for 3 seconds and don't forget the power button.  Lowe's wanted to charge us $40 for taking the old set away.  I asked if they could load it in my van?  They could!  I took it to the recycling center.  I pulled up on the scale, was directed to back into the yard and unload.  In muck and mud I opened the back doors of the van and pulled.  Nothing, I couldn't budge it.  I looked around for a "guy"....... yup there was a guy on a frontend loader.  Nope can't help.  So I wedged myself between the stacked set and my seats and pushed!  It moved a few inches, I pushed again, I took a deep breath and thought delivering my kids was easier than pushing this thing out of my van!  Finally it tipped out!  I stuck my tongue out at the frontend driver and drove back on the scale.  I had delivered a 260 pound baby!  I was handed $32.50 and I drove away feeling very good. 

It has been a crazy a month and now I am done.  

Back to gardens

Classes on wild edibles at Harbor Gardens in Ashtabula.

Walking out so many frustrations.....

washing stinking dogs......

mixed up my snacks.....

won't make that mistake again!  yuck! 😣

I might even make it back to the studio! 

Today, I drank coffee and walked....... I did a lot of adulting.